News Media, Newspaper

Bi invisibility saves the day

Either Senator Larry Craig is a brilliant politician or completely ignorant. His reply of "I'm not gay" in response to his recent guilty plea (lewd contact in a public bathroom) has sent the press into a tizzy: Is he gay? Is his marriage a sham? Is this a set up by his enemies?

In reality, his sexuality has nothing to do with anything. He could just as easily be bisexual - or straight! Yes, some straight men like to have sex with other men! If he did do what he plead guilty to, he is a hypocrite regardless of whether he's gay or not. Trying to defend marriage while breaking your marriage vows is hypocritical. Condemning men for having sex with men is hypocritical.

Thanks to this diversion, debate is surrounding his bedroom and not the important issues.

More important than whether Craig is gay:

1) If you look at the actual description of his "crimes", most actions are up to interpretation. Feet are spread too far apart; hand appears to go under urinal. What does is say about our society that lives can be destroyed with one person's interpretation of vague gestures?

2) This brings to life the numerous "stings" across the country, targeting man for intent to engage in consensual sex with another man. Yes, public sex is illegal, but mixed gender couples can only be arrested once they actually engage in sex.

What would happen is a woman hit on another woman for public sex? It is not illegal for a man to hit on a woman and ask for sex; only a man with another man. Why is that??

3) It's beginning to appear that the bulk of the DOMA like legislature is merely a case of self loathing closet cases trying to look "not queer". (that may not be a surprise to some of us). How pathetic must a life be, spent condemning people like yourself.

4) When we (as activists) publicly jump on our initial glee when another conservative is outed as a hypocrite, we lose a teachable moment.

I've gone through a ton of opinion on this yesterday - from schadenfreude to pity. Those of you outside the region may not know this yet, but Mitt Romney is pure evil. I have little pity for those who align themselves with him. But as these closet cases stack up, I find myself trying to comment on the broken system - the problem is clearly bigger than one hypocrite. Why does the conservative party embrace the self loathing hate mongers? What is it in their system that allows people like Foley and Craig to rise to the top?

A.J. - RIP?

Many a fantasy life was dimmed last week, when it was reported that the bigger lipped half of Brangelina has given up her bisexual label. Upon hearing this, I donned black for a week (the official mourning time for ex-bi's). Surely, this highly evolved goddess didn't compare bisexuality to S&M! How could the womyn who caused my breath to stop continually for over a decade.. how could SHE minimize who we are?
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camping put


Imagine a dozen or so cabins, sandwiched between Lake Michigan and a little wanna-be lake, accessible only by boat. Kids kayaking, swimming, hiking, doing arts & crafts, and learning how to lead the GLBT movement.
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  • Current Music
    Rent Soundtrack
Audre Lorde, Silence

Under the influence of "Sicko"

I performed my patriotic duty on the 4th of July. I went to see "Sicko." As with all of Michael Moore's movies, I was left with tears, anger, and a hopeless feeling. I had noticed most of what he mentioned (avoidance of coverage, soaring drug costs, and demonization of "universal health coverage"). There was some lazy part of my brain who thought "if the health care system was as broken as it seems at a systemic level, someone would have made a huge stink by now. Therefore, it must be in my head."
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soul mates


I didn't sleep last night and I'm about to skip a conference call so I can load up on groceries. Worse, I completely spaced an organizers meeting for 10ICB (the next international conference on bisexuality) last night. Little Ms. Responsible has completely lost it. Tendo will be here tomorrow. I'm not sure I'm ready.
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  • Current Music
    Wyclef Jean presents the Carnival
  • Tags


I’ve uttered one word since Massachusetts stood up to bigotry, refusing to let voters decide a civil right – “Mah-widge”.. as in “Mah-widge is a say-quid institution” (Monty Pythoners out there can probably cite the exact scene this comes from. I, thinking this was Mel Brooks until a few minutes ago, cannot).

Mah-widge. Say it with me. It’s fun! The dogs and I were dancing while saying it. Jumping in circles, tears streaming as I listened to coverage, I could think of nothing more to say.
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Rural Book Lovers

I did not sleep last night; my lammy books showed up.

I adore reading, but I have zero tolerance for bad books.  Blame it on growing up with the tv for a nanny; a introductory sentence can cause me to toss a book.  This wouldn't be a problem if I lived in a city. I could get my latte, sit down with a pile of candidates, filter at will. This winners would get to come home with me and either relax in the hot tub or curl up in my bed. 

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Big Bi Book Weekend

Misheard at the Big Bi Book Weekend

Well, the first ever Bisexual Lammy was presented on June 1,  2007. I could write an entire book on the experiences, interchanges, connections made over this weekend.  I have a half dozen column ideas in my head about this, but have been stuck with where to start.  I finally decided to start with the worst of the weekend; those gaffes that make us look for a time machine, so that we can redo our words.  

Sometimes the words themselves are not the problem, but the timing .

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I go both ways

What makes a book bisexual?

In October 2006, the bi community cheered at Lambda Literary Foundation's addition of a bisexual category.  Since "Bi Any Other Name" was forced to compete as a lesbian anthology back in 1991, bisexuals authors and readers have yearned for a category where our best can be judged against similar books.  

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I do encourage you to read the nominated books and draw conclusions for yourself.  The discussions that come out of these efforts can be quite enlightening.  If you can't find someone with whom you can discuss these books, I'll play. I'm dying to chat about all of them.   Drop me a line -