Quick update: No accidents, no drama, still love my new job. Oh, yeah… and I’m out again.
One of my concerns with moving to my new job was that dreaded “outing” task. Every time I start over, I’m torn between having “the talk” and appearing like a nut job (does anyone in the high tech world care what my sexuality is?)… or not voicing my sexuality and feeling like a hypocrite.
This time, I opted to try to work it into conversation naturally. How hard could that be? 5 months later, I knew exactly how impossible! The effort started well. In week one I was discussing the local Fetish Flea (bi-annual alternative lifestyles flea market). I followed it up with a chat about volunteering to help sex workers organize.. Got a buzz cut.. Discussed escorting guests into Planned Parenthood. Mentioned watching porn (not as shocking as it might seem else where; my company’s roots are in porn technology). I explained how my “House” avatar should be “number 13” (“the one that goes both ways?” Exactly!). Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Sandwich.. Torchwood… Visiting my dominatrix friend in Canada. Gay marriage in CA. Nothing.. I mean nothing.. worked. I couldn’t understand how my coworker was that dense.
I was getting ready to leave explicit pictures involving myself “accidentally” lying about, when 2 events occurred within minutes of each other.
Derrick (the guy from the subject line) asked me how come I hadn’t added him as a friend in myspace. Derrick is savvy/streetwise enough for me to know – if he’s seen my myspace account, I’m out to him. If he didn’t spot by self identification or my queer friend base, the blog would give it away.
Big D is a man’s man – volunteer fire fighter who can hold his own in a fight, but he’s a freak, in a good way. He’s pals with my younger, more innocent coworker. If Joe had yet to figure me out, Derrick would explain my facts of life.
As I was letting that sink in, Joe and I started discussing whether anyone was bothered by the Patriot Act. Me, being the flaming liberal I am, was. I was explaining how I was not naïve enough to think anyone interested didn’t know me via google (I mentioned BiNet USA). He admitted he had googled me before I started working here.
For the past 5 months the two of us had been playing chicken. With Joe trying to make me say the word, while I was awaiting him showing a clue.
This all happened a couple months ago. I’m still not certain whether he was taunting my attempts as self outing or being respectful of my privacy. Our receptionist has offered to tease them back by having a torrid affair with me (they all kind lust after her, at some level). So, all in all, being out is a good thing.