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It's tough being an axis

It's the Real Thing, Bisexuality
Warning: Like many phoenixes (phoeni?), everything seems to revolve around me this week. Hang in there and you just might witness a self-outing.

My job coach has forced me to picture my ideal job; not what I can do or am qualified to do, but what I want. It turns out even my ideal job is bisexual: part software engineer, part support, part management.. A little from column a, a little from column b, yet something much more. The people who recognize the value in this role are rare; so many companies are mono-taskical.

I managed to find a company who realizes the power of complexity. I had a second interview on Wednesday. And I nailed it (cue the balloon drop)! I'm waiting for the offer (it must be coming; my soon-to-be coworker spent our interview time training me). I am not a good waiter.

I've started my second stint as Lammy judge this year (not in the bisexual category this time; I'm not allowed to tell you which one until after the awards). As I wade through the 20+ submissions, I've learned that the bisexual category is not that unique. Last year we debated how to compare bi fiction to bi memoir; how unfair it all seems. This year I'm having the same problem. My genre is one I've loved forever, long enough to know the subgenres and have strong biases.

Any large category has sub categories. Go up to your average sci fi geek and ask them if star trek fan-fic is more literate than star wars. LOTR or Harry Potter? Biography or memoir? Hard boiled mysteries or cozies? Every book is unique. How can one judge art? This must be when an oscar judge feels like.

I picked a fight with Andrew Sullivan this week. or more precisely, I countered his biphobic blog with a Blade quote. He questioned the recent Hunter studies results (saying half the LGBT community is bi), saying he doesn't "see" us. It's tough to see anyone when you're only looking at yourself.

Several weeks ago, I developed a crush.. on a tv reality show contestant (no.. that's not my "outing," but it is kinda pathetic). Tila Tequila's Shot of Love has the most amazing soul (at ,least, she's filmed that way). Dani, the "butch lesbian with a heart of gold," made me love her - not because she's physically my type (though she is), but by constantly taking the high road, avoiding drama, always seeing the good, and being completely accepting. Ok, so what can I say.. Opposites attract.

I've avoided this long enough.

There's something about me that few people know. Something I'm not ashamed of, but I do avoid speaking about because the announcement is always followed by the difficult responses... Why? Are you afraid? You can change if you want to!

This is something that I've come to consider part of my identity. Yet its something I'm being forced to change. At times, this change is painful, but it's time.

I have never had a driver's license. Yes, the 40-something, adventure loving, world traveling, rural home owner has never been able to jump in a car and go.

After losing my job working from home, I know it was time to get a license. I'm 5 weeks into driver's ed. My hope to to take the test next week. I was going to take it today, but I was in a car accident this week (rear ended at a red light; NOT my fault!!!) and have lost my test car. Today I start relearning in our only other car (a big SUV - parallel park anyone?). Wish me luck.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
indifferenthues
Dec. 21st, 2007 10:07 pm (UTC)
in re: Andrew Sullivan
"It's tough to see anyone when you're only looking at yourself."

tee hee . . . good comment!!
blackorchid1
Dec. 22nd, 2007 09:45 am (UTC)
I recognize how that feels. I didn't get my own driver's license until I was 30. I didn't really *need* one until then.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )