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In reality, his sexuality has nothing to do with anything. He could just as easily be bisexual - or straight! Yes, some straight men like to have sex with other men! If he did do what he plead guilty to, he is a hypocrite regardless of whether he's gay or not. Trying to defend marriage while breaking your marriage vows is hypocritical. Condemning men for having sex with men is hypocritical.
Thanks to this diversion, debate is surrounding his bedroom and not the important issues.
More important than whether Craig is gay:
1) If you look at the actual description of his "crimes", most actions are up to interpretation. Feet are spread too far apart; hand appears to go under urinal. What does is say about our society that lives can be destroyed with one person's interpretation of vague gestures?
2) This brings to life the numerous "stings" across the country, targeting man for intent to engage in consensual sex with another man. Yes, public sex is illegal, but mixed gender couples can only be arrested once they actually engage in sex.
What would happen is a woman hit on another woman for public sex? It is not illegal for a man to hit on a woman and ask for sex; only a man with another man. Why is that??
3) It's beginning to appear that the bulk of the DOMA like legislature is merely a case of self loathing closet cases trying to look "not queer". (that may not be a surprise to some of us). How pathetic must a life be, spent condemning people like yourself.
4) When we (as activists) publicly jump on our initial glee when another conservative is outed as a hypocrite, we lose a teachable moment.
I've gone through a ton of opinion on this yesterday - from schadenfreude to pity. Those of you outside the region may not know this yet, but Mitt Romney is pure evil. I have little pity for those who align themselves with him. But as these closet cases stack up, I find myself trying to comment on the broken system - the problem is clearly bigger than one hypocrite. Why does the conservative party embrace the self loathing hate mongers? What is it in their system that allows people like Foley and Craig to rise to the top?
- Mood:
pensive - Music:Evil Empire, by Rage Aainst the Machine
Comments
I noted in my own journal (and I was the only person I know who did, at first) that folks were saying, "Craig! Just admit you're gay!" but that few folks were suggesting that someone who might be both interested in men (Craig was also involved in some investigations involving male pages, in the early eighties) and living with a woman might be bi, rather than gay. Sure, perhaps his wife was a front, and he went against his instincts to help make his kids, but (I don't know why) I'm astonished at how many people assumed he's just one or the other.
However, though I was appalled that some very simple cruising behavior caused his arrest, I never stopped to think that cruising for anonymous sex with women wouldn't have had that result.
Then how are they different from bisexuals?
There are many, many examples of this. the most obvious one is men in prison (or on a submarine, or any other place where women are not available). They may have sex with receptive men because they cannot get to a woman.
Some men consider themselves straight because they only feel emotionally attached to women and could never see themselves ina relationship with a man. they choose to label themselves as straight because of this - regardless of whether they sleep with men on a regular basis.
Some men who believe they are exclusively straight may have fantasies involving other men. At some point, they may choose to engage in this behavior to test their fantasies, after which time they may decide that their fantasies are just that and continue to call themselves straight.
In the same way, some gay men may experiment with sleeping with women. Yet, they continue to call themselves gay.
And some men live in a "monosexually defined world." They listen to the J Michael Bailey's of the world who tell them bi men don't exist. And since they aren't gay, they define themselves as straight.
As Fritz Klein so aptly described, one's sexuality is extremely complicated - involving who one feels emotional connected to, is attracted to, fantacizes about, and so on. There's your past, current, and ideal behviors in each of these areas that combine to make your unique sexuality. Since none of us are exactly the same, only you can define your sexuality.
Terefore, I am not the one to tell someone else how they should define themselves
As someone mentioned, a man can have sex with men and still identify as straight. But you can safely talk about "men who have sex with men and women" (or "MSMW" as you'll often see it in studies) and know the accuracy of the term.
In some ways, I'm grateful at times like these that the media mostly seems allergic to "the B word" -- *I* don't want to have to claim this hypocritical bozo. Senator MSMW from Idaho would give honest bisexuals like myself a bad name.
I remember a college discussion with some guys about their horror about gay rights. Their stories about being hit on seemed the main horror. As a woman, they got no sympathy from me. Some years later, Halloween on South St in Philly, a female colleague of mine was cross-dressed as male construction worker. We approached a guy cross-dressed as a woman (a guy in a dress, not a cross-dresser). My colleague promptly began cat calls and "Hey-Bay-Bees," and the guy just looked horror stricken. His girlfriend gave a good talking back and "saved" him....
These experiences drive home how much of this is about power, power to be the initiator....
-here from
As for the whole bi issue, to marnamel: Just as a man who occasionally forays into same-sex situations isn't automatically gay. They are different than bisexuals because they self-identify as something else. Forcing our labels on someone else doesn't make the labels appropriate.
I believe heterosexuals can also be arrested for lewd behavior in some jurisdictions, though I'm sure the concept of lewd is far more loose for same-sex than for hetero.
and his proclamation of "i am not gay. i have never been gay" is meaningless. what reveals more is his voting records, which is clearly against what the media likes to term "the gay agenda" and the rest of us usually refer to as "equality". he has fought hard against same-sex marriages AND civil unions of any kind, has been a strong advocate for "don't ask don't tell".
and now his own party is calling on him to resign. hate-mongers is the word to describe them.
and i agree with your assessment of romney - i'm from MA and the man is horrid. *shudder*